Meet Me In St. Louie Louie :)

I can't believe that today is finally here!!!!  I am beyond giddy today and actually didn't sleep much last night.  Granted part of that is I am uncomfortable and had an upset belly, but on the flipside so excited to see what is going on in my body right now.  My mom and I are leaving for St. Louis today for my bloodwork tomorrow and my ultrasound.  I can't wait to see how many follicles or eggs that I have.  I know that there is a lot as I am really swollen and have pain on my ovaries.  Then on top of that to actually have the date and time for my retrieval makes me more than giddy.  I know that this is going to work and this is just the first part of this process, but I am so anxious to here those two little words of You're Pregnant!  I have amazed myself in how strong I am in getting through the multiple injections a day.  I never would have dreamed that I could do this and look at me.  Thanks for all of the continued prayers and thoughts this week.  I have amazing friends and family!!  Love ya!  May God be by our side this week as we go down this road and continue to give us the strength and support that we need.

Tired of Being Poked

Yesterday was a hard day as it was my last day with my amazing class and I had to say good bye not only to them, but to my classroom of 10 years.  It was extremely difficult, but I am excited to be going to a gradelevel and team that will be more than fantastic.  As I was saying good bye to my kids and to my 5th graders that are going to middle school, it just hit me.  Then tons of teachers came over to give me a hug and wish me luck which really made me emotional.  I honestly couldn't have done what I have without their support.  I just sat there in my classroom last night thinking everything happens for a reason and I have a feeling in a few weeks I am going to find out what it is.  Then on the flip side I have been thinking that if IVF doesn't work for some reason, I am thinking of reconsidering teaching.  I am not sure I can keep teaching if I don't have my own, but I know that I will my own kids, I just have too.  This is going to work, I won't accept failure.

When I woke up this morning, I don't feel like I am on summer vacation, but I am sure I will when all of this is over.  Chris had to wake me up early to give me my injection before he left for work.  Can I just say that I am tired of being poked with all of the needles.  My tummy and abdomen are so sore from being poked each day multiple times a day.  As I was drawing up the liquid into the syringe, I said something to Chris about how I was feeling and he said I was thinking the same thing about you.  Everyone knows how much I hate needles and this is really pushing me and my will power.  I have really surprised myself in how well I have handled everything, but I do wish I could just hit fast forward on my life.  I will say that the medicine must be working as I am starting to swell in my abdomen and get poofy.  I am anxious to see how many follicles I have on Tuesday.

Today I am going to acupuncture and going to try to just relax some.  My family was supposed to come up from Springfield today for Memorial Day weekend, but now they aren't as my granny is in the hospital.  Yes, I am worried about her and she is adding to my stress right now.  My mom and dad are headed there for the day and Chris has to work all day as this is a big sales weekend for Lowes and everyone has to work.  Then my friends are all at the lake for the weekend.  I guess I will just spend relaxing and watching movies.  Or I could go lay by the pool even thought it is how cold.  Memorial Day weekend isn't supposed to be cold...  Oh well...

WHAT A DAY!

What a day! Let me just give you the low down on my day. Today was going to be a big day and it turned into a huge day. Here are the highlights: had an actual tornado warning for the first time in my 12 years of teaching with my kindergarteners and spent over an hour in cover, the tornado hit where my husband was and I had no communication where he was to make sure he was fine until 3 hours later when he sent me a picture of a car parked next to him with a piece of metal through the window, had kindergarten graduation with my class this afternoon after the tornado warning and still on edge as I hadn't heard from the hubby, after school packed up my room some, had girls night and ate shrimp that made me sick, and then followed up with doing our first Gonal F injection where my skin at the injection site swelled up. I honestly don't think I could have had one more thing happen today in my day. I am trying to think that my glass is still half full, but it is hard when I am still reeling from the day. I just hope that tomorrow goes better. Alright I am done venting!  I am still exciting that we finally hit the Stim drugs in making this more of a reality. 

5 More Days!

What a whirlwind life has been lately.  I am definitely more than a bit emotional lately and actually broke down to my mom as I am completely and totally overwhelmed with everything.  I only have 5 more days of school with my class and I have SOOOOOOO much to do that it just makes me want to cry.  I just sit in my classroom or my new classroom and I just stare at the mess in front of me not sure where to start.  Don't get me wrong most of the stuff is moved or packed, but it isn't done yet.  I know that it is going to be hard this week to get all of that done and finished with everything I have going on.  I am going to have to get out my SuperWoman cape this week and magically get it done.  Thank goodness for my amazing friends that have done most of the move for me as I know I wouldn't have gotten even close to being done.  I guess I am just going to take one step at a time this week with this.  I can't believe that I only have 5 more days...unreal.

Yesterday was a rough day with my injection as it literally wouldn't go into my tummy.  My husband tried and tried, but it didn't want to go.  He finally managed to get it in, but let me tell you it hurt so bad.  I am not sure what happened, but someone mentioned that the needle may have been crooked or my husband hit a tough piece of skin.  Thank goodness today's needle went in fine.  I think we were both nervous as yesterday he felt horrible for hurting me as I laid there crying.  I just hope that I don't have any issues when we start the stim meds on Wednesday.  I guess that is when the real fun begins.  In just a week we will be in St. Louis having my follicles measured.  I am anxious to get this going and see how my follicles develop.  I just hope that I have lots of healthy follicles that we can turn into embryo's.  The reality of all of this is really here that is for sure.  I just pray to God that he is watching over us and helping prepare my body for the procedure.  I am also hoping he is going to give me the strength to get through the rest of these steps.  Thanks to all of you that are praying and supporting us. 

Allergic Reactions to Medication....ARGH

Oh my...where do I start.  I have started a few of my medications to get my body ready for IVF in a few weeks.  I have started taking Dexamethasone, Reclipsen, and Lupron.  I am not sure what is going on with my body, but I do know that the Lupron isn't liking my body.  After it was injected into my tummy, my tummy turns red, my tummy gets hot and burns, the injection site starts swelling, and then a lacy rash starts to spread.  I talked to the doctor and they said if that is all that it does than I should be ok, but to monitor what it does the next few days as this is an injection that I do daily.  Yesterday was the first injection and today was injection two and it did the same thing, but worse.  Then on top of all of this, I starting throwing up and having digestive issues.  I am hoping that once my body gets used to these medications I will be feeling better as this is just the beginning.  Has anyone else had issues with Lupron or is it just me?  I only have how many more doses of this medicine and on top of that I will start adding more medications into the mix.  Why can't something be easy for me for once?!  Yes, I am frustrated if you can't tell.

Meds, Meds, and More Meds!!! HERE WE GO!

Tonight a nurse from the Walgreen's specialty department called me to go over all of the meds that came in my box on Friday.  I feel so much better after talking to the nurse.  :)  When I first opened the box of medication on Friday, I was so shaky that I could hardly inventory it to see what was all there.  If you didn't know I am scared of needles and blood so this was enough to make me get hot and shaky.  I brought all of the meds home and put some in the fridge and some on the counter, but haven't looked at it since.  The lady tonight explained everything including the LARGE needles I saw and how those are for mixing the medications, thank goodness.  I had no idea that most of these medicines will have to be mixed by me or my husband as with the Follistem I just used the little dial a dosage thing to measure the medicine and inject it.  After the nurse explained everything, I feel better about all of that and even the injections in the stomach, but still not fond of it all.  I guess we will find out on Thursday when I start the Lupron.  I thought it was nice all of the tips that the nurse gave me about what to do and how to make life a bit easier.  I wasn't thrilled to hear about the Progesterone and Oil injections as that doesn't sound like much fun, but I did get a laugh when she told me to divide my butt cheek into 4 quadrants to figure out where to inject the needle.  I said people draw on their butt and she no they draw it on paper.  I think she figured out I was very literal at this point.  :)  I told Chris that he has to massage my butt and he said I don't think so.  I guess we will see how that one goes in a few weeks.  She said that this medicine can be really lumpy as it is so thick and you have to rub it in.  Believe me I am going to do everything she suggested so I am not sore from these injections.  If you have any advice, let me know.  She did say that if I am pregnant that I will have to do more of the injections even after that.  Nice...oh well I will do anything to be a mom and be pregnant again.  I can't believe that my journey is starting on Thursday with injections.  The reality of all of this is definitely in front of me.  I am ready to get this ball rolling!

Med Costs

Today when the phone rang and I saw that it was from the pharmacy that was taking care of my fertility drugs, I wanted to answer and then on the flipside I didn't.  Immediately the lady told me that I didn't have fertility coverage which was no shock.  Then she started giving me the breakdown of all of the meds and drugs.  Once she started I just kept saying in my head please don't be a lot.  We had planned on spending anywhere from 3 grand to 4 grand.  Here is what she said:

Lupron Kit is $99
Ovidrel trigger shot to release the eggs is $83.79
Progesterone and Oil is for 3 vials is $35 and equals to $105
Endometrin is  $105 for the discount program/$144.48 if I didn’t enroll for program
           *The lady I talked to said to check with my IVF nurse to see if I really need to take this as doctors
             usually don't prescribe progrestone and endometrin at the same time.  On top of that I am
             worried as how I am going to react to this drug.
Dexamethasone quantity of 30 is $13.04 (Might transfer to local Walgreens to use my insurance)
Z-Pac is $49.70 without insurance (Might transfer to local Walgreens to use my insurance)
Luveris is for two vials is $36.14 a vial for $72.28 total

By this point I was going this isn't to bad and to good to be true, but I knew that the big bombshell must be coming and that it did.

Gonal 450 IU for 3 vials Meds for $1872.12

Estimated Total is $2409.93 or $2346 would be total if transfer those two drugs

Now the initial shock has set in and I have had time to think and the total was a lot less than I thought and planned on.  Actually I have enough money to pay for my meds and not have to charge them and I will still have more money to put towards the procedure.  :)  I hope that this is really all the meds I am going to have to take and that this cost isn't going to go up because if it stays the same, I can deal with this a little bit easier.

The lady did tell me about a company that I can sign up with called New Life Agency.  Has anyone heard of this?  The website is http://www.newlifeagency.com/ and you sign up and pay like a $25 enrollment fee, but what they do is pay you $100 back for every $1000 you spend on fertility drugs.  I looked at the site and I still want to read it some more to find out the details, but saving a few more bucks sounds good to me.  This phone call is going better than I thought.  :)

After I had time to digest all of this, I am really viewing my glass half full instead of half empty.  Next week is going to be rough as I have to pay for everything, but I do have to say all of this is really becoming real to me.  I feel like this is still so far away and I am just ready to get this ball rolling and move forward with this.  I am hoping that these next few weeks just fly by.  Only happy thoughts for this girl and have to remain calm, stress free, and positive!!!

Last Phone Conference!

Things are so real now that it just amazes me!  My IVF nurse just called to walk me through the HUGE packet of information that she sent me.  I thought the packet was big that I got before, but this is serious business.  I have to fill out a bunch of papers and have them notarized as soon as possible to give our consent to doing this and also to freeze our embryos that survive.  :)  On the top of the packet was a colored copy of my updated medication schedule.  Some of my medicines have changed since the first calendar she sent me.  I love how everything is color coded that way I am not going to mess up a dose or anything like that.  I think the lady learned pretty quick that I am very organized and like having everything planned out.

She went through step by step what is going to happen in May.  May 12th is when my real fun starts and I get to start my first injectable drug called Lupron.  She said that this drug is a suppressant and that it is going to get my body ready for IVF by suppressing my pituitary gland.  I haven't taken this drug before so I guess we will see if there are any reactions with it.  I will also be taking a steroid called Dexamethasone that I have taken before.  I take those in conjunction with my usual medications for a while.  Then on the 18th I have to have my Estrodial checked and we are hoping for a low number as I should be on my period or getting ready to have a period.  Then depending on a couple of factors, I might have to go to St. Louis for a baseline ultrasound, but we won't know that until the 22nd.  I am hoping that I don't.  Then on the 25th more fun with taking Gonal F on top of everything else.  This is a new drug to me, but she says that it is like the Follistim that I took before that will increase my hormones and follicle growth.  Does anyone agree or disagree with this that has taken this?  On the 30th, I get to take Luveris which is another drug I haven't taken to mature the follicles that I have produced.  Thoughts?  Then on the 31st, I have my Estrodial checked that morning in St. Louis and then the ultrasound to check my follicles after that.  Depending on what they see depends on what they do the next few days.  They will either tell me to stay in St. Louis or go home and come back in a few days.  Everything is up in the air which sucks as I am a planner, but it will be ok.  Meanwhile I will keep dosing up on medicine to keep my follicles growing as we want them as mature as we can get them.  :)  Somewhere around then I will take an Ovidrel injection to cause all of the follicles to ovulate.  36 hours after injection is when I will have surgery.

I was told that my egg retrieval will probably be that Friday or Saturday just depending on how they mature.  She said that everything is done in the office and they have various rooms for the surgery and recovery.  She said that the sedation isn't a full few hours sedation, but more like 15 minutes to come out of it.  She said that I will be groggy most of the day, but I will be able to walk around just not do too much.  After that the next day they will call me to let me know how our little embryo's are developing.  Hearing that is exciting as that will really give us hope with this whole process.  Meanwhile I will be doing medications still, but not sure which ones yet.  On day 5 the best two embryo's will be transferred back in (she said to drink water before hand) and I guess we get to watch it.  :)  Then after that is 24 hours of bedrest.  Then cross the fingers and hope for a miracle or miracles.

This is all feeling really real.  I know that we have the greatest support system in the world that is going to get us through this next month.  Meanwhile I am going to keep thinking positive, working out, and trying to eat healthy.  I just have to keep telling myself that I am Superwoman and I can do anything with the love and support of God and my family and friends.  I am very blessed to have them in my life.

I HAVE THE PLAN FOR OUR IVF!!!

Today has been a crazy day!  I got an email this morning saying no PCOS for sure and no Metformin.  That just started my day off.  Then after that I got my email from my IVF nurse or coordinator.  She said we are good to go and we will be in contact lots and do a phone conference real soon.  :)  Then the big shocker, she emailed me my month of May calendar with all of my drugs and dosages!  I think I went into shock when I first saw it as it was more than a bit overwhelming, but once I sat back and looked at it, things really became real.  I start drugs at the beginning of May!  WOW!  I am going to be poked more than I thought with multiple injections on days.  I have to get ready for this as I REALLY hate needles! 

I have been looking up the various drugs on here to find out what they do and side effects.  There are definitely some that I know and some new ones.  I guess I have less than a month to get my game face on for this.  I have a phone conference in two weeks once I get my packet to really iron everything out.  I love my new doctor and how they are really treating me as an individual.  I will NOT accept failure with this!