Thursday, August 25, 2011

When Can We Catch A Break

Today was one of those days that makes me think, when is my family going to catch a break.  Last night I wasn't feeling well at all and having cramping and sharp pains a lot of the night.  Then this morning wasn't much better.  I talked to one of my nurses that is a friend and she told me with my high risk pregnancy and still having the 2nd sac, I need to call Dr. Leverett.  I called the office and she wasn't there, but the nurse said she would talk to another doctor and get back with me.  Most of my pain is on my left side.  At about 10:30, the office called back to tell me to get off of my feet and go home from school.  In addition, they mentioned that it could be a few things.  One being the baby trying to pass or my uterus expanding from the baby this is doing well.  She then said that I might never pass this baby and it might be something that I end up delivering with the other baby.  Creepy if you ask me.  The last thing she said was that if I start bleeding that I need to go to Labor and Delivery at the hospital immediately.  I honestly wanted to cry after hearing this...everything has to be fine, right?  After managing to get a sub, I left school and went home.  Right as I was getting home, my cell phone rang and it was my mom.  I was sure she was just calling to check on me as she and I had been emailing that morning, but no she was calling to tell me more bad news.  My dads nurse that has been coming to the home checked his blood yesterday and the levels in his kidneys had gotten worse since Sunday when he left the hospital.  Dr. Hamood said he wanted to admit my dad immediately.  So my mom was at KU Med yet again with my dad. I hearing her right.  Then she tells me that they took their dog in that was having issues and she might be having surgery and is staying the night at the pet hospital.  I am honestly at the point I don't even want to answer the phone right now.  Now on top of all of that I am trying to decide what to do about work tomorrow.  I am going to see how my night goes and then I might do another half day.  I am not going to do anything to jeopardize this baby.  I am hoping that tomorrow will be a better day and that my body feels better.  I am going to go buy the pillow everyone says I need as laying on my back isn't good.  I am hoping that will help even though it hurts to lay on my side.  I did lay on my side most of the afternoon.  Praying hard tonight that everyone in my family is ok and NOTHING else will go wrong.

Monday, August 22, 2011

13 Weeks!

Wow..this pregnancy really feels like it is trucking along.  I am sure the fact that school has started, is really helping me out more than anything.  I have so many other things on my mind that I don't just dwell on the baby and the baby we are losing.  We did take a huge step this weekend in that we went shopping for furniture for the nursery and actually bought a set!  I love it!  It was normally $4500, but on clearance for $1300 as they are putting out a new model at Nebraska Furniture Mart.  It will be delivered on Sept 10th.  Here is a link to the furniture...

Now the update on our baby and how I am doing.  :)

Baby is the size of: a peach...our little Gomez or Gertie are growing!
Symptoms: I am doing pretty good on this lately.  I can tell that the end of my nausea is here or so I hope.  The one thing that is driving me nuts is my acne.  Hello hormones...  I feel like a teenager again.  Another symptom I always has is sore boobs in the morning and definitely some cramping before fully getting up.  Other than that doing good.
Weight gain: Maybe 1 pound. When I did IVF and the steroids, I gained lots of weight from the meds. Now that I went off the steroids, I am dropping weight. :) I think I have put on about a pound though even though I have been dropping weight.
Maternity clothes - I wore my first pair of pregnancy jeans on Friday and I felt so weird to say the least.  The panel made me nuts as I felt like my shirt wasn't long enough to cover it.  I bought a few new shirts this weekend for my birthday.
Sleep: I am tossing and turning most of the night.  A friend recommended a pillow that I am thinking I might go buy real soon. 

Movement: Not yet...however in the last ultrasound the baby was moving all over the place. I can't wait to feel it for real!  Chris calls it our little Mexican Jumping Bean.  It was so funny in the ultrasound last week.
Cravings: Still not having to many cravings except for my Propel Water.  I am having some nice indigestion after eating.   Good times...
Strangest moment: Seeing the baby going crazy last week in the ultrasound.  :)
Gender: Don't know yet!
What I look forward to: Next doctor's appointment on the 2nd to check on the babies. I am hoping that the one is gone and the other baby is still flourishing! Hoping that some of my restrictions will be removed.
Milestones: So close to finding out the sex of the baby.  :) 

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Happy Birthday To Me!

In just an hour, I am going to be 34 years old.  I can't believe that I am going to be that old.  I think my age has really been on my mind as I am finally pregnant and going to be a mom in just 6 months.  Thinking ahead I hope that I will live long enough to be a grandma and my child doesn't have to endure what Chris and I have on the infertility path.  I know that is a long ways down the road, but I am really feeling old with this birthday.  Then tonight at dinner at the Outback having one of my former students as our waitress who was in my student teaching kindergarten class who is now 19, just made me gag.  I honestly can't believe how much I have done and accomplished in my professional career and my life as a wife.  I am now in my 13th year of teaching and we just celebrated our 8th year of marriage.  When you look at all of that, it makes me smile and proud of myself.  In just 6 months I am going to add another big accomplishment to my life that being becoming a mom and a parent.  I can't wait.  I know that this is going to be the best year of my life in so many ways.  Next year at this time I will be 35 and I can't wait to see how I am feeling and thinking.  Happy 34th Birthday To Me!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

12 Week Ultrasound

Today was the 12 week appointment and ultrasound.  I am being seen every 2 weeks right now to monitor the one baby that is going strong and the one we are losing.  Today we were told it is a diminishing twin as it is a matter of time.  There wasn't much left in the sac, but the sac was still there and actually rather large.  It is hard to say the least, but I would rather it just diminish all together to stop causing a threat to the other baby.  My doctor said she thinks it will be fine, but I still worry.  I have another appointment in two weeks.  Here is the picture of today's ultrasound.  I love this baby so much already!  I think I am going to get out the pregnancy journal tonight for the first time.  :)

Monday, August 15, 2011

2nd Trimester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOO HOO!  We are in the 2nd Trimester!  I seriously feel like screaming and jumping up and down with joy.  I still can't believe it.  I just keep thinking of someone saying we will never be parents, but now I can just smile as I really believe in February we will be.  I know we aren't out of the woods by no means, but getting closer.  On Thursday I go back to the doctor for another check up and to see what is going on with the babies.  I do have to say I am nervous, but luckily the start of school and that stress is overtaking it most of the time.  Now on Thursday Kindergarten will be the last thing on my mind and the baby(s) will be first and foremost.  Now to fast forward to Thursday.  Until then just going to enjoy this huge accomplishment!  We are one happy family right now.  I forgot to mention my bump is really starting to pop now.  :)

Monday, August 8, 2011

11 WEEKS!!!!

We are 11 weeks and one week away from being out of the first trimester! I know that this hasn't been the smoothest road for sure with all of the bumps we have encountered including finding out we are losing one of the twins, but if we end up with one baby in the end, I am more than happy and IVF was more than successful in my eyes. :)

I saw this idea of someone elses blog and thought it would be a fun documentation of how my body, life, and the baby is changing from time to time.

Baby is the size of: a lime...our little Gomez or Gertie are growing!

Symptoms: Nausea is still an issue that is for sure, but I have been noticing that it is getting a bit better! WOO HOO! I am having less waking up at 3 or 4am to eat. I have also found that eating ice helps, don't know why, but it does. The metallic taste I had been having is getting to be less too. I am noticing some cramping and what feels like stretching going on. I read in my book that my uterus is expanding but of course I am wondering if the other baby is miscarrying finally. I am also starting to have some back pain. I of course have sore boobs every morning when I wake up. I still welcome all of these symptoms as it means I am normal even though they suck.

Weight gain: Maybe 1 pound. When I did IVF and the steroids, I gained lots of weight from the meds. Now that I went off the steroids, I am dropping weight. :) I think I have put on about a pound though even though I have been dropping weight.

Maternity clothes - I went maternity clothes shopping this weekend with my mom as that is my birthday present from my mom. Missouri had Tax Free weekend so on top of the sales we found, no tax! I had a hard time finding any cute tops for work, but have plenty of time. I was more worried about getting some pants to wear. You have no idea what a huge step this was to even buy clothes. I am really starting to accept that I am pregnant. Maybe I will bust out the pregnancy journal this week.

Sleep: Beginning to become more and more uncomfortable - which is not something I am enjoying, I can't seem to get comfortable. I sleep fine until I wake up to go to the bathroom then it's all over the place as I toss and turn seeking a comfortable position. I am not a back sleeper, but that is what I am having to do to even think of dosing off.

Movement: Not yet...however in the last ultrasound the baby was moving all over the place. I can't wait to feel it for real!

Cravings: None aversions are some of the things that Chris has been cooking and looking at them. YUCK!!

Strangest moment: None yet...this whole process has been strange

Gender: Don't know yet!

What I look forward to: Next doctor's appointment on the 18th to check on the babies. I am hoping that the one is gone and the other baby is still flourishing!  Also 2 more weeks of taking progesterone!!  Big WOO HOO!!! 

Milestones: 1 week away from end of the 1st trimester

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Pics of 10 Week Ultrasound

I had to post the pics from yesterdays ultrasound even though it didn't go the way we wanted.  My sister in law swears we are having a girl already as she says she sees three lines.  I think she is nuts, but she does have two girls and knows what she is talking about. 
She swears that the white black white lines close to the cursor shows it is a girl.  Who knows? 

This was a great picture of the babies heart.  I love the sound of our babies heartbeat.  I am soon going to be buying a doppler.  :)
Love our little Gomez or Gertie!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

We Are Going To Lose 1... :(

Today hasn't been a day I want to relive.  I had an appointment this morning with my OB to check on the babies.  Immediately instead of just listening for the fetal heart tones, the doctor took me to the ultrasound room.  She did an external ultrasound in which immediately I could see the big baby and how big it had gotten in a couple of weeks.  The doctor then did the most amazing thing, she let me hear the babies heartbeat.  It was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.  I just laid there and cried.  I had seen the heartbeat flash before, but not heard it.  The doctor then measured the baby and started looking for the other baby, but we saw a gestational sac, but couldn't see much more.  I was then sent to the hospital for a transvaginal ultrasound.  Chris went with me for the first time and got to be a part of it since going to St. Louis.  The ultrasound tech tried to do a external, but it was hard to see.  She then did a transvaginal ultrasound and first focused on the big baby and let Chris listen to its heartbeat.  The baby is measuring 9 weeks 6 days which is just a few days behind, but the baby looks great.  The baby was moving all over the place too.  It was so neat to watch.  Then came the time to look for the other baby.  My heart just dropped when we saw the sac had shrunk and we didn't see a fetus in the sac or a heartbeat.  She really looked and searched to find something, but in the end said we are losing this baby.  Not sure how this is going to take place and what will happen, but it is already happening.  I might have bleeding, cramping, but who knows.  The tech called the doctor and she said the good news is that the other baby shouldn't be impacted with losing its twin.  It really killed me when the tech switched in the computer that we didn't have 2 fetuses any more, but just 1.  I started to feel my eyes well up.  She gave me a minute to get dressed and I just lost it.  Chris just sat there with his head in his hands and I just cried.  I can't believe that God is taking another one of our babies.  I am still in shock to say the least and very emotional.  I can't believe that I can actually sit here and write this as I can't talk about it.  Chris is mad that I am upset as he says I need to be strong for the other baby, but I need time to grieve too.  All of this is making me think of when I lost the other baby.  I hate this.  I know that we have one healthy baby and we are almost out of the first trimester.  I just hope that God keeps letting this baby grow and lets the other one miscarry the way it should which will allow me to work.  I am really being tested right now in so many ways.  I just need the strength to get over one more hurdle on my journey.  Please pray for us and the one baby that is striving.

Monday, August 1, 2011


It is the little things that make me happy with this pregnancy and really keep me going and the fact that I am 10 weeks and two weeks away from the 2nd trimester makes me teary eyed!  I have a doctor's appointment and ultrasound this week.  I am so ready to see the babies again and make sure that everything is OK with the 2nd baby.  I don't think that Wednesday can get here fast enough.  :)

I am feeling blah which is to be expected.  Some days are definitely easier than others.  This past weekend was more than rough, but that probably has to do with the fact that I am packing my classroom again and overdid it on Friday.  Yes, right after getting my room unpacked for 2nd grade, I found out I am going to another school to teach kindergarten.  I am so happy, but not excited about the packing and unpacking which sucks when you can't lift anything.  Going back today to finish packing and hopefully won't pay for it.  Any how, I am starting to notice a little bump forming.  I am having issues with some of the foods that Chris fixes and the smells.  Still no puking but constant nausea.  If I had the money and time I would go for acupuncture to help with this, but I will deal with it.  I am hoping that this feeling will be over in a few weeks. 

I can't focus to write much more, but I will write more and post pictures on Wednesday after my appointment.  Keep the prayers coming for our miracles.  Can't wait to see them as I love them so much already!!