Tired of Being Poked

Yesterday was a hard day as it was my last day with my amazing class and I had to say good bye not only to them, but to my classroom of 10 years.  It was extremely difficult, but I am excited to be going to a gradelevel and team that will be more than fantastic.  As I was saying good bye to my kids and to my 5th graders that are going to middle school, it just hit me.  Then tons of teachers came over to give me a hug and wish me luck which really made me emotional.  I honestly couldn't have done what I have without their support.  I just sat there in my classroom last night thinking everything happens for a reason and I have a feeling in a few weeks I am going to find out what it is.  Then on the flip side I have been thinking that if IVF doesn't work for some reason, I am thinking of reconsidering teaching.  I am not sure I can keep teaching if I don't have my own, but I know that I will my own kids, I just have too.  This is going to work, I won't accept failure.

When I woke up this morning, I don't feel like I am on summer vacation, but I am sure I will when all of this is over.  Chris had to wake me up early to give me my injection before he left for work.  Can I just say that I am tired of being poked with all of the needles.  My tummy and abdomen are so sore from being poked each day multiple times a day.  As I was drawing up the liquid into the syringe, I said something to Chris about how I was feeling and he said I was thinking the same thing about you.  Everyone knows how much I hate needles and this is really pushing me and my will power.  I have really surprised myself in how well I have handled everything, but I do wish I could just hit fast forward on my life.  I will say that the medicine must be working as I am starting to swell in my abdomen and get poofy.  I am anxious to see how many follicles I have on Tuesday.

Today I am going to acupuncture and going to try to just relax some.  My family was supposed to come up from Springfield today for Memorial Day weekend, but now they aren't as my granny is in the hospital.  Yes, I am worried about her and she is adding to my stress right now.  My mom and dad are headed there for the day and Chris has to work all day as this is a big sales weekend for Lowes and everyone has to work.  Then my friends are all at the lake for the weekend.  I guess I will just spend relaxing and watching movies.  Or I could go lay by the pool even thought it is how cold.  Memorial Day weekend isn't supposed to be cold...  Oh well...

Holidays

Why are the holidays so hard?  Why do I bother turning on my computer on these holidays and see all of the posts on Facebook?  Why do I torture myself so bad with this?  I know that Easter isn't just about the Easter bunny and it is about Jesus, but it doesn't make it any easier to see pictures of my friends kids, their eggs hunts, and their baskets.  I remember when we first found out years ago that we were pregnant that one of the first thoughts that went through my head was Chris and I weren't going to be alone on the holidays any more and our family would be complete.  Now how many more years later I am dreading going to my parents for the day as it is just hard.  I know that the only people that really and truly understand what I am talking about are the ones that are in the same shoes.  I know that the next two holidays are Mother's Day and Father's Day which will be as equally as hard, but then no more real holidays until October.  May all of us that are in this boat get through these next few holidays with flying colors.  Saying a prayer for all of us today regarding a miracle in the very near future.  Happy Easter!