Saturday, November 21, 2009

A Time To Give Thanks

In the next week, we will be celebrating Thanksgiving. I have noticed on Facebook all of the people that have been listing all of the things that they are thankful for. As I read through them, it just made me start thinking that I don't have a lot that I want to give thanks for this year. The one that I do need to give thanks to is all my amazing supportive friends and family who have been with Chris and I every step of the way in 2009. What we have endured this past year is something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I will say that everything has made me a stronger person and taught me about my self and Chris. Who would of thought that I would actually be able to give myself injections and do even 1/2 of the things I did. I am sure that all of this strength I have gained is going to help me somewhere down the road, but I am not sure when. I keep saying that 2009 can't get any worse, but we still keep having things thrown at us that are far worse than I could ever dream. Then on top of that I started again this week. Was I surprised, no, but I was still wishing that a miracle would of happened. I am so ready for this year to be over and to move on. I hope that we can get through these next few weeks and the holiday season without any drama. I hope that this will be the last holiday season that Chris and I will have to go through as just the two of us. I have all these hopes and dreams for 2010 that maybe someone will actually grant. Until then, may no more bad things happen to us or the people that we love.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Today is the Day

Dear God,

Today is the day that Chris and my baby should of come into this world. You and I both know that it has taken me a long time to accept that this baby wasn't meant to be, but I will always have a special place for that baby in my heart and will never forget this date. Knowing that I was carrying a baby inside me, was the greatest feeling in the world. The only thing that would of been better is carrying it to term and becoming a mom.

I hope that you know that through all of this, I still haven't figured out what it is that Chris and I are to do to become parents. We both have called upon you so many times just like the bible says and have waited for you to help us out. We are both at the end of our rope on this and just wish we could be informed on what it is that we are to do. God don't count us out on becoming parents and please give us the chance to have a baby naturally without invitro or adoption. We aren't bad people and would be the greatest parents in the world.

God thank you for everything that you have given us. I hope that you can give us both the strength that we need today to get through and try to move on. Please look after our family.