APRIL 1st!

I can't believe that today is April 1st!  Are we seriously doing IVF next month!?  I think the nerves and excitement has really started to set in.  This has really felt like a dream, but not now we are actually doing this.  (SMILE)  We are doing so much to get ready for this.  We both are trying to eat healthier and cheaper, working out, and thinking positive.  I can really tell a difference with my body already and with Chris's.  This is going to work for us, I just know it.  I have already met two women on facebook that are a part of my group that are doing IVF May into June.  It will be so nice to know other people that are going to be thinking and feeling the same thing as I.  :)  I really think it will make a difference.  I should be getting a call soon from my IVF Coordinator and this ball will get rolling.  When you really think about it, one month from tomorrow is the day all of our money is due.  That will be a sad day, but it will be fine (it was nice to be debt free for a while).  I am hoping by that time I will be feeling better too as I am still feeling like crap from the birth control they put me on and flare ups with my IBS.  I guess getting sick each night is just dropping more weight for me.  LOL, bot seriously it isn't fun.  Any how we are excited.  I am actually going to go to my support group meeting on Tuesday as I need all of the support and prayers we can get.  We are honestly about to get back on this roller coaster and I am hoping it will be nice and smooth this time and less bumpy. 

Scared to Death About IVF?!?!?!

I don't know what has happened tonight, but I just broke down about everything.  I think that the emotions from my dad's retirement today and thinking about the future just did me in.  Right now I don't know what I want to do.  I know I was happy to have a plan with IVF, but now I am really second guessing it.  I was going to call tomorrow and put my $2,000 down, but now not so sure.  I don't know if I want to do it later or if at all.  Right now we are leaving it at, we are going to wait a few weeks until I start my period to decide.  I really just wish that someone would slap me in the face and tell me what is best for Chris and I as right now I don't know.  I am scared about the whole thing, when it is taking place, and possibly about wasting that much more money.  Between talks with family members about their fears for us and my already fears, I am a mess.  I know that people want to be the realist for us, but I can't hear that right now as I want this to work so bad and hearing negative isn't what I need.  Please pray for us right now that we can make the right decision as I honestly don't know what that is right now.  It is all in God's hands right now and I just wish I knew what to do.