Sunday, June 7, 2009

THE NIGHTMARE THAT WOULDN'T END!

On March 23rd, is when I was given the injections to terminate the pregnancy. On March 30th, I had blood work drawn to check my levels and they were finally dropping. I knew that things were slowly working, but to be honest I was at my emotional breaking point and ready to move on with my life. I had no appetite, a husband that didn't want to talk about any of this, colleagues that wanted to talk about what I was going through when I wasn't able to without crying, and I felt alone. During this time I just couldn't help to think why me!? I know that isn't the greatest thing to think as this happens to so many people, but with the road I have been on and then to feel like God was toying with my feelings and emotions. I wasn't sure I could do any of this again.

On that Thursday, April 2nd, I was in my classroom when I started having major pains and contractions. I knew then that I needed to get home as I knew what was coming next. Luckily my mom came and got me as I was in no shape to drive home. The doctor called me in some drugs and I just had to wait for the baby to finally miscarry. Finally, after lots of pain and contractions on Sunday, April 5th, I miscarried the baby. I was so sad and relieved thinking that this might finally be over, but for some reason I was still having lots of pain and trouble sitting up and no bleeding.

On Monday, I was supposed to go out for blood work, but instead I called and said I think I need to be seen now and told them about my pain. They said that they wanted to see me now. I called my mom and luckily she could go with me as I didn't know what was going on. Once there and after an examination, my doctor was thinking that my tube was about to burst and in less than a half an hour, I was in surgery having an emergency D&C and laproscopic surgery. Chris barely got out there as they were finishing my IV at Overland Park Regional to give me a kiss before I was wheeled into surgery. That is the last thing I remember until I woke up in recovery to have a nurse tell me that they took my appendix. I looked at her and told her that she had the wrong patient. I guess she was right though as I was told that it wasn't just my tube that was causing all the pain, but my appendix. My doctor also did find tissue that hadn't miscarried that was part of the problem as well. All I have to say is that any time something is out of the norm, it is me. I got home on that day and felt better that this whole thing was finally over. Yes, I had lots of pain and I was still angry, but I knew that my nightmare was winding down. Now I had the rest of the week off to recover and reflect. The worst part is that this really did a number on Chris and he was just convinced that on that day he was going to lose me. You know I wasn't to sure myself what was happening as I remember signing all of the papers when I checked into surgery and them asking about my will, if I wanted them to resuscitate me if something went wrong, next of kin, etc. It just really makes you think about life.

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