Breakdown

Wow...last night was emotional.  I am not sure what exactly happened, but my hubby just snapped.  I think that he finally had enough bottled up inside regarding our journey and just lost it.  As bad as I felt that he was crying, it was nice to see as sometimes it just kills me that he doesn't open up to me on how he feels with this whole process.  I am not sure what brought all of this on last night, but it probably had to do with the fact that I had been talking to my new doctor in St. Louis and trying to coordinate things with them as I had started that day.  I don't think he was ready to hear that they wanted to see me this month as we thought that we weren't doing anything until June, but like I told him we have to do these tests to get a plan of action laid out for this June.  All he kept saying to me is we aren't bad people why is God putting us through this.  Honestly, that is the way I feel each month when I start my period.  I really wish that someone would answer that question.  We both just feel like we are punished over and over with this journey and it doesn't ever get any easier.  We both really feel as if this new path we are on with the new doctor is going to answer our prayers and dreams, but it still doesn't make it any easier getting to that point.  We are going to do these tests next month when hopefully the weather is cooperating to make the drive to St. Louis and then we will have answers on what this doctor thinks.  Are we still nervous to hear what he thinks, you bet, but his insight is only going to lead us to the end result that we want.  Like I have said before...these are just the bumps that we encounter that make us stronger.