4D Ultrasound

Yesterday we went for our second 4D ultrasound of Gabbie.  Chris purchased this for me for Christmas so we could see our angel one more time before she comes in a few more weeks.  What an amazing experience.  Not only did we get pictures and a DVD to have for a lifetime, but a bear that they recorded her heartbeat in so we have it as a keepsake.  It was an amazing day.  However, the real gift came later that night.  I had horrible contractions that night and was up until 4am with contractions before the medications kicked in. We should have gone in to the hospital, but the Dr said it was our call. After a few dosages, I slept and they relaxed down a lot to the point I could get comfortable again. Meanwhile Chris cleaned and worked on stuff in the house including putting things together for Gabbie.  I woke up at 5:30 to hear music from the family room. I came in here to find Chris watching the video of Gabbie from earlier that day. They put it to music that just really and truly describes what a miracle she is.  For example, "You Are So Beautiful". When I came in he had already watched it 3 times before he had me watch it with him again.  Listening to him talk about Gabbie and how beautiful she is, just melted my heart.  I don't think life can get any better. Honestly....we are really and truly blessed to say the least and can't wait to actually hold our little angel.  Here are a few pictures of her...  Chris loves the one of her flipping off the camera.  She is definitely his daughter.  :)

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Christmas 2011

We had an amazing Christmas.  Gabbie is so loved that is for sure.  I am not going to write much, but wanted to post a few pics of my amazing supportive family that I love so much.  We couldn't have done IVF and got to where we are without them.  I wish I had one of my dad with us on this day, but I will put one of him with Gabbie when she arrives.  :) 

Merry Christmas Eve! MEMORIES!

WOW!  Are we really about to celebrate a holiday and not be depressed for the first time in 6 years!  Unreal!  As Chris and I laid in bed and talked the other night, we thought back about all of the holidays we were just sad and down as we didn't have the one gift that we had wanted for so long.  I remember each of those holidays like they were yesterday.  We would wake up and just dread going over to my parents house as we knew our nieces would be there and it was just like the biggest slap in the face that we didn't have a child.  We would fight many of these mornings as neither of us really knew how to cope and face the day.  Thank God for my amazing family that after a few years of our struggles finally understood what we were going through with each holiday.  How could you not see the pain and tears in our eyes. 

I remember last Christmas like it was yesterday as we had a new sense of hope because our friend Stef Baldwin shared with us about a new doctor in St. Louis that was a top notch doctor and a cheaper doctor for IVF.  We knew on last years Christmas that we were going to meet with that doctor and quite possibly give ourselves one more chance at infertility treatment.  This hope made last years holiday a little bit easier for the both of us and gave us life again.  I can't begin to say how thankful I am to Stef for telling me about Dr. Ahlering.  Stef is truly one of the angels that God put in my life for a reason.  I am forever indebted to her as she is the one that is making our dreams come true.  I know I have told her this over and over, but I would do anything for her and her triplets.

Now the present day and we are either days, weeks, or months away from meeting our little miracle.  This road has definitely not been easy even with the actual pregnancy, but all of this is making me stronger.  I have prepared myself that she could be here today, tomorrow, or in a few weeks as nothing that happens to me is normal.  :)  I know that some people are like think positive, but they haven't been in my shoes and have no idea what we have endured and continue to endure.  Right now I am on bedrest from school as I am already dilated and effaced.  On top of that having lots of contractions and on meds to stop the contractions.  Everyday any more has me wondering, but I know that God is watching over us and our little Gabbie.  I am so ready to meet her, but hoping and praying that she stays put a while longer.  I will be 31 weeks in a few more days and welcome each day of this pregnancy with a smile on my face as my doctor said we aren't counting each week as a milestone now, but each day.  Who knows what will happen these next few weeks, but so blessed and excited about our miracle baby that will be entering the world.

I know that with this holiday I have a smile on my face, a bounce in my step, and as my friends say I am glowing, but deep down I ache and hurt for my friends that are still suffering from infertility.  Infertility is horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone as it is the most painful journey I have been on and unless you have walked in these shoes, don't tell me you understand.  To those friends, I am praying for you and hope that soon you will be blessed with a miracle of your own may it be through fertility treatment, naturally, or adoption.  Tomorrow morning as I wake up on Christmas morning, I will be more than thankful for what I have and hope that you get to experience this amazing feeling that we have right now.  To everyone else, cherish these holidays as you don't know how truly fortunate you are to have blessings in your life.  I am ending this post with a picture of myself by my sister in laws Christmas tree with my bump.  With my bedrest our house isn't full of holiday spirit as we don't even have a tree up or presents, but that doesn't matter as our present is still to come.  Merry Christmas everyone!

Nerves

Tonight I just needed to sit and reflect for a minute.  After everything that happened last week with the preterm labor, I am more on edge then ever.  I really wish I knew what was going to happen with Miss Gabbie and when she was going to come.  I feel horrible that I am not doing a very good job of protecting her right now.  I know a lot of that isn't my fault, but then again some of it is as honestly I probably shouldn't be working right now.  Being a kindergarten teacher and not being able to get off of my feet, isn't the best scenario right now.  I know that it is really taking a toll on my body and I can only imagine what it is doing to her.  Tomorrow we have a variety of doctor's appointments and I will be curious to hear what my doctor says about everything.  I know no one in my family wants me working either.  I just wish I knew what to do.  I feel horrible on the flipside as I feel like I am being a horrible teacher and anyone that knows me knows that I love what I do and love those kids so much.  It is just hard right now and I am hoping someone just tells me what I HAVE to do tomorrow to make me feel better.  I am off to take some more TUMS for my indigestion and try to sleep.  More information tomorrow...  Praying for some news tomorrow....

PRE-TERM LABOR!

So on Monday we entered our 3rd trimester and our 28th week of this pregnant.  I still can't believe it.  We are actually going to be parents in a few more months. 

I went for my every 2 week appt yesterday and after she got done measuring my belly, she asked me how I was feeling.   I mentioned to her the pain I had been having in my pelvis and how that morning, I couldn't even get out of bed hardly.  She said she thought it was the ligament pain, but wanted to check me any way.  I couldn't have been more happy that I told her as when she did check me my cervix was soft and a fingertip worth of an opening.  We were sent to the hospital after that.  Talk about nervous as we hadn't even been there before and had to go to labor and delivery.  Got hooked up to monitors to hear Gabbie's heartbeat and check contractions.  I had been having them like I thought, but then they started coming harder and faster.  I was given a shot of the Terbutaline (sp) to stop contractions so I could have an ultrasound.  Let me just say this drug isn't fun as the room starting spinning and I had the shakes.  Any how, we did get to see Gabs and she has grown for sure.  Then saw my cervix was still measuring at a 4 which was a huge relief.  It had been at a 6 at 20 weeks, but they said they will monitor.  If it would have been at a 2, I would be on hospital bedrest.  As I was in there contractions kept coming to the point they were minutes a part.  Got back up to the room and hooked back up to monitors.  Given 2 more injections and was told I wasn't leaving for the night.  I was so scared as I thought she was coming the way the contractions kept coming.  Once I got that third injection, things slowed down and I was given the same med orally.  I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything just in case something changed, but was given pain meds and hooked up to an IV.  I just laid there with tears in my eyes.  My mom came up so Chris could go home to get clothes and things as they thought things were slowing down.  I finally got to eat at about 10 last night when Chris brought me a chicken sandwich as they were done serving food from the kitchen.  The night was a long one as my IV kept beeping at me and my monitors on my belly came sliding.  I was finally allowed to sleep at around 1am and was given something to help me sleep.  Chris stayed the night with me and slept on the fold out sofa.  I was so glad to have him there.  Contractions are next to nothing now and I am back home on the sofa for the weekend.  My Dr said that she is going to give me a 2nd chance and let me work still, but I have to listen to my body and stay home when I need to and get off of my feet at work.  I might even do 1/2 days.  We will see.  I am just glad to be home.  I am so beat today from it all that is for sure.  I do know what to watch for and the pain everyone told me that I was having isn't normal for me.  I really don't know what to about work at all.   I know last night I was so worried that if she did come I have NOTHING ready for her.  Talk about putting me in full overdrive.  I am just trying to stay calm.  The big thing I am doing is packing my overnight bag as Chris came home to get stuff and boy did he do a horrible job.  I know he was upset and nervous, but got me clothes that didn't match or fit, not toothbrush or toothpaste, no deodorant, and I am sure you are getting the point.  He did manage to pack up his X-BOX and a 12 pack of Sprite for him  Good times...  So that is the latest on my Bumpy Road to Motherhood.  Just hoping and praying that she stays put at least until middle of January.  I think my phone said like 60 days until she is full term.  Just pray for us if you don't mind.