It is officially the month of November. I can't believe it. I wish I knew what to say at this point, but I am really at a loss for words. Tonight I once again kept the light off and trick-or-treaters away. It isn't that I love the kids and their costumes, but it is just a reminder of one thing I want to be able to do with my own child. I know it sounds silly, but it is one of those little things. As I was on facebook tonight looking at people's updates, it really hit me as I saw cute pictures that people uploaded of their children dressed up. I want that so bad. I have that cute fish costume in the closet that I bought years ago in hopes that it would be used. I still have hope, but just not as much.
Lately things have been hard. There was a death on Chris's side of the family and my dad had surgery yet again. Chris and I have officially decided that this was the worst year ever with everything that has happened and that next year things have to be better. It wouldn't surprise me if one more thing goes wrong between now and then. I am more than ready for January 1st to get here and get through these next few holidays. I have a feeling that this year's holidays will be that much harder. Right now, I just need to get through November 15th.
I apologize for my choppiness in my writing, but when I get emotional kind of like I am right now, my sentences don't flow together like I would like as I am writing off the top of my head and believe me there is a lot in there right now.
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