Not The Start To August I Wanted

I am so bummed right now. I can't believe that I am spotting. I know that some of you are going that is not always a bad thing, but in my case I am sure it is just the beginning of my period. I really thought that this was our month. I have had morning sickness where I actually have gotten sick, headaches and dizziness, hot flashes, increased appetite, pain on my ovaries, and I have been exhausted. I am seriously just shocked that I am not pregnant. I will probably go ahead and do a test on Monday just to make sure as I know my doctor will ask me to do it anyways. I am just sick about this. I really don't know what I am going to do at this point. We had said that we would give it one more month and then stop trying until next summer as we need a break emotionally, physically, and financially, but I am not sure I have one more month in me. We have been doing this over a year now. The positive side of all of this is that I did get prego once and whats not saying it won't work again, but I am at my breaking point. This is all I am writing right now as I am a mess and really would like not to think about it. I just told Chris and his face and tears match mine. It is going to be a long next few days until Monday morning. I am still hoping for a miracle, but I am not to sure God is on my side this month with this one.