Another Month

What did I tell you, this month was going to be a bust! I was pretty sure of that from the beginning when nothing seemed to be going right. The worst part is that I am not even that upset as I really don't think I was ready for a positive test even though that is what I want more than anything. Chris on the other hand is really mad about the whole thing and especially my attitude. What doesn't help is that we have also received a phone call tonight about Chris's grandpa and how they expect him to pass any time and it couldn't be worse timing with Chris's inventory next week. To be honest with you and myself, I seriously feel as if I wasn't ready to try fertility treatments this month, but between everyone's coaxing, I finally gave in. Do I think next month will be better? Absolutely! I know that I need eggs on my right ovary this month as I think that might of be why it worked last time and I haven't had that except for a few times. I know that is just speculation, but it kind of makes sense. Am I looking forward to another round of drugs and shots, NO, but I do know that I am only giving this a couple more times before calling it quits for good. If you can't tell, I am in a funk right now and what doesn't help is that my niece is going to be born tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I am excited about being an aunt again, but it makes me think is this the only thing I will ever be to a child. I know that isn't the way I should think, but I am in a bad humor. I feel better getting all of this off my chest as I can't talk to Chris right now as he is dealing with his own problems on top of ours. All I can say is maybe next month...