Memories and Remembering Good Bye

Luckily today a wise friend told me that the way I am feeling right now is normal.  This Monday would have marked the one year birthday of our baby.  Will I ever forget that date?  I don't think I will.  I will never forget finding out I was pregnant and hearing the due date.  I thought what an incredible birthday gift for my mom.  I remember thinking no more holidays of just Chris and I, but we would actually be a family.  It was the greatest feeling, but then almost 10 weeks later, our hopes and dreams came tumbling down.  Since that time, we have been told nothing more than bad news.  I really thought that I would be a mom by now and prove everyone wrong, but no.  I think that is why the birthday of this baby really hits me.  I know that some people think I am crazy to feel this way and that I need to move on, but the women who have been in my shoes tell me it is normal to feel this way and it is still to new.  I remember how hard this day was last year, but with the help of my friends and my husband, we got through it.  I just need to get through Monday which will consist of working with my kids, my colleagues, and then acupuncture.  I was hoping for a night out with the girls too, but that isn't going to happen.  I just need to be strong, but let my emotions out.  May God give Chris and I the strength to endure this day, but also help heal our hearts from the heartache that we have.