Those Horrible Words

There is something about seeing the words "Not Pregnant" on a pregnancy test that just does me in. I was late this month and was actually feeling pregnant which of course immediately had my husband saying I need to do a test. I did and I saw those horrible two words again. I can't even describe the pain and anger I felt when I saw those words as that test went flying into the trashcan. I was so hopeful that it would be positive and that we wouldn't need a plan any more, but not the case. I finally started the other day and it has been one of the weirdest cycles I have had with cramps that nothing would take care of including prescription drugs. I am trying not to think about it and ready for this new month, but at the same time I don't want to think about it and see if that helps, but everyone knows that I will be counting the days and know exactly when we would need to have sex as I can't get that part of this whole process out of my system. How weird would it be if I did get prego this month or next month as those were the months I conceived last year. I honestly think it would creep me out to say the least. Who knows, but I am hopeful.