Friday, June 17, 2011
Breakdown Again
Tonight I just feel so emotional about everything. I am so ready for next week to get here and get these blood tests over with and know something, but on the flip side am I really ready to hear the news either way. I am scared out of my mind. I am normally not an emotional person like this, but I can't get ahold of my emotions tonight. Like I have said before is it all of the hormones I am on or is something going on. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Today I had some sharp pains and then some tightness. I am tired of analyzing and just need some answers, but then that takes me back to am I ready to hear the results. Hopefully I can get through the weekend and accept whatever I hear next week. Me being the planner I am, I need to figure out what we are going to do if we hear the dreaded words. Chris gets so angry at me, but that is the realist in me even though I think I am. If you can't tell I am going nuts. I am hoping and praying with all of my might for the news we want and that there are two beautiful babies growing in me right now. I also told God that we put this in his hands along time ago and reminded him of that that we have been patient and feel like he led us on this path and why would he do that if we were only going to be disappointed. Any how, signing off, but needed to vent. Night!
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5 comments:
I understand all of this!! We asked the same questions of God...I hope next week brings you smiles and tears of happiness :)
The wait seems like forever - I thought the day of the blood test would never arrive. I'm praying for you to get good results!!! Hang in there!
This is so hard. Just so you know, I also kind of prepare myself for the negative. I'm not BEING negative, but I think it's a way to survive in case you do hear bad news. Deep down, I always believed it would work, but I had to mentally prepare myself if we got bad news. It's like me doing Weight Watchers right now. The day I weigh in, I always weigh at home so if the scale is really bad, I am prepared and don't freak out at the meeting place. That's why I was always bad and would do a HPT the day of or the day before the blood tests. Just so I had an idea. Of course, that would bring on a whole new set of worries, but it did prepare me a bit. Not that you should - that's just what helped me. Just remember, the time will continue as normal even if it doesn't feel like it. The day will come and you will know something. What day is your BT?
Unfortunately all you can do is hang out and rest, which makes it harder to keep your mind from wondering to much. Try not to over analyze everything...pains and odd feelings can be completely normal with pregnancy. I had some heavy bleeding, and then spotted my entire IVF pregnancy. Also, try to find something to do the day you get your BT. I think that was the worst day...waiting for them to call and give me the numbers, and to hear the words!
Hang in there...I think they gave us all of those hormones so we will be prepared for teenagers!
So...to change the subject...what good movies did you watch??
Thinking of you!
Amy Mc
We have beta 1 on Monday and beta 2 on Wednesday, but they won't tell us the results until Wednesday either way. We are now three days away from knowing. The sad thing is I am not waking up with sore boobs any more. I am still hoping and praying things are fine. They have too.
Amy...I am glad to know that you had some of these crazy symptoms. Today the cramping is a little more intense and I am just hoping that it isn't my period coming. I am not sure what we are going to do on Wednesday, but I told Chris we aren't just going to sit here or we will go nuts. Oh wait, I am already there. The movies we watched were Battle LA (which I actually liked), Just Go For It with Adam Sandler, and Due Date. The first two were good. We watched another one last night, but don't remember what it was. Thanks Amy for all of your support.
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