Last Phone Conference!

Things are so real now that it just amazes me!  My IVF nurse just called to walk me through the HUGE packet of information that she sent me.  I thought the packet was big that I got before, but this is serious business.  I have to fill out a bunch of papers and have them notarized as soon as possible to give our consent to doing this and also to freeze our embryos that survive.  :)  On the top of the packet was a colored copy of my updated medication schedule.  Some of my medicines have changed since the first calendar she sent me.  I love how everything is color coded that way I am not going to mess up a dose or anything like that.  I think the lady learned pretty quick that I am very organized and like having everything planned out.

She went through step by step what is going to happen in May.  May 12th is when my real fun starts and I get to start my first injectable drug called Lupron.  She said that this drug is a suppressant and that it is going to get my body ready for IVF by suppressing my pituitary gland.  I haven't taken this drug before so I guess we will see if there are any reactions with it.  I will also be taking a steroid called Dexamethasone that I have taken before.  I take those in conjunction with my usual medications for a while.  Then on the 18th I have to have my Estrodial checked and we are hoping for a low number as I should be on my period or getting ready to have a period.  Then depending on a couple of factors, I might have to go to St. Louis for a baseline ultrasound, but we won't know that until the 22nd.  I am hoping that I don't.  Then on the 25th more fun with taking Gonal F on top of everything else.  This is a new drug to me, but she says that it is like the Follistim that I took before that will increase my hormones and follicle growth.  Does anyone agree or disagree with this that has taken this?  On the 30th, I get to take Luveris which is another drug I haven't taken to mature the follicles that I have produced.  Thoughts?  Then on the 31st, I have my Estrodial checked that morning in St. Louis and then the ultrasound to check my follicles after that.  Depending on what they see depends on what they do the next few days.  They will either tell me to stay in St. Louis or go home and come back in a few days.  Everything is up in the air which sucks as I am a planner, but it will be ok.  Meanwhile I will keep dosing up on medicine to keep my follicles growing as we want them as mature as we can get them.  :)  Somewhere around then I will take an Ovidrel injection to cause all of the follicles to ovulate.  36 hours after injection is when I will have surgery.

I was told that my egg retrieval will probably be that Friday or Saturday just depending on how they mature.  She said that everything is done in the office and they have various rooms for the surgery and recovery.  She said that the sedation isn't a full few hours sedation, but more like 15 minutes to come out of it.  She said that I will be groggy most of the day, but I will be able to walk around just not do too much.  After that the next day they will call me to let me know how our little embryo's are developing.  Hearing that is exciting as that will really give us hope with this whole process.  Meanwhile I will be doing medications still, but not sure which ones yet.  On day 5 the best two embryo's will be transferred back in (she said to drink water before hand) and I guess we get to watch it.  :)  Then after that is 24 hours of bedrest.  Then cross the fingers and hope for a miracle or miracles.

This is all feeling really real.  I know that we have the greatest support system in the world that is going to get us through this next month.  Meanwhile I am going to keep thinking positive, working out, and trying to eat healthy.  I just have to keep telling myself that I am Superwoman and I can do anything with the love and support of God and my family and friends.  I am very blessed to have them in my life.

THE NIGHTMARE THAT WOULDN'T END!

On March 23rd, is when I was given the injections to terminate the pregnancy. On March 30th, I had blood work drawn to check my levels and they were finally dropping. I knew that things were slowly working, but to be honest I was at my emotional breaking point and ready to move on with my life. I had no appetite, a husband that didn't want to talk about any of this, colleagues that wanted to talk about what I was going through when I wasn't able to without crying, and I felt alone. During this time I just couldn't help to think why me!? I know that isn't the greatest thing to think as this happens to so many people, but with the road I have been on and then to feel like God was toying with my feelings and emotions. I wasn't sure I could do any of this again.

On that Thursday, April 2nd, I was in my classroom when I started having major pains and contractions. I knew then that I needed to get home as I knew what was coming next. Luckily my mom came and got me as I was in no shape to drive home. The doctor called me in some drugs and I just had to wait for the baby to finally miscarry. Finally, after lots of pain and contractions on Sunday, April 5th, I miscarried the baby. I was so sad and relieved thinking that this might finally be over, but for some reason I was still having lots of pain and trouble sitting up and no bleeding.

On Monday, I was supposed to go out for blood work, but instead I called and said I think I need to be seen now and told them about my pain. They said that they wanted to see me now. I called my mom and luckily she could go with me as I didn't know what was going on. Once there and after an examination, my doctor was thinking that my tube was about to burst and in less than a half an hour, I was in surgery having an emergency D&C and laproscopic surgery. Chris barely got out there as they were finishing my IV at Overland Park Regional to give me a kiss before I was wheeled into surgery. That is the last thing I remember until I woke up in recovery to have a nurse tell me that they took my appendix. I looked at her and told her that she had the wrong patient. I guess she was right though as I was told that it wasn't just my tube that was causing all the pain, but my appendix. My doctor also did find tissue that hadn't miscarried that was part of the problem as well. All I have to say is that any time something is out of the norm, it is me. I got home on that day and felt better that this whole thing was finally over. Yes, I had lots of pain and I was still angry, but I knew that my nightmare was winding down. Now I had the rest of the week off to recover and reflect. The worst part is that this really did a number on Chris and he was just convinced that on that day he was going to lose me. You know I wasn't to sure myself what was happening as I remember signing all of the papers when I checked into surgery and them asking about my will, if I wanted them to resuscitate me if something went wrong, next of kin, etc. It just really makes you think about life.