Heartbroken

Today has been one of those days that I would like to forget about.  Today was my first appointment with my OB as I have been released from my RE in St. Louis pretty much.  I was already nervous to begin with about my appointment, but I had no idea what was going to happen today.  The first part was meeting with the doctor and going over my past, what is happening right now, and what will happen.  I wasn't that impressed with my doctor and was really sent over the edge, when she got a page that she needed to deliver a baby immediately.  She asked if I could come back in an hour to finish up.  Luckily my mom was with me or I would have been like no as I wasn't happy with this lady as she wasn't friendly and had no bedside manner.  We did leave and ran some errands before coming back.  I couldn't believe the difference in my doctor.  She was nice, had a personality, joking with me, and was nice.  It was shocking.  She did a few tests and said my uterus was measuring at 9 weeks.  I then told her how all of this makes me so nervous with what I have been though and how I just worry about my twins.  She said lets go down the hall and I will try to do an external ultrasound.  Boy were we shocked to see what we did...we went from having twins to triplets as she saw three gestational sacs.  I was shaking and crying so hard and my mom's face was just about the same.  We were then sent over to the hospital for an internal ultrasound immediately to confirm what she saw.  I am not sure how we even got there to be honest as I was still in shock.  I called Chris and he didn't even believe me when I told him.  Could we really be having triplets?  I got there and went back for the ultrasound and immediately we just saw two sacs, THANK GOD!  Then the ultrasound tech started looking at the sacs at the babies.  One of the babies is measuring at 6 weeks and 5 days which is just a few days behind with a heartbeat of 136.  The other baby was not as visible and only measuring at 5 weeks and 6 days and couldn't find the heartbeat.  I was immediately heartbroken and starting to lose it.  We can see the gestational pole and the yolk sac, but that was about it.  Here we went from thinking we were having triplets to maybe just one baby.  I know that this baby might just be a bit behind, but I am already thinking the worse.  I am asking for prayers and positive thoughts for our little ones as I don't want to give up just yet.  I am sure I will be having yet another ultrasound in the next few weeks.  Please God let both of my babies survive...I am not sure we can endure this heartache at all.  (Sigh)