Thursday, November 24, 2011

So Thankful

Today I am filled with such emotion as I think back to last year at this time when Chris and I were trying to figure out what we should do to become parents.  Should we just settle with being aunts and uncles the rest of our lives or pursue our dreams of becoming parents.  Just that week we were presented with information from the mother of the triplets in my classroom about an opportunity for us to do IVF in St. Louis with another doctor and we were honestly considering and wondering if this is what God wanted us to do.  After much consideration and meeting with the doctor over the phone just a few weeks after that, we decided that God led us on this path and we had to try it.  Now a year later we are sitting with a different outlook on life as I am almost 27 weeks pregnant with our little miracle and entering my third trimester on Monday.  It hasn't been an easy year with all of the drama we have had with the drugs, the process, and even losing one of our little miracles.  I truly believe that everything happens for a reason in life and all of this happened for a reason.  There are a variety of other women that did IVF at the same time as us that ended up with twins and they are all on bedrest either at home or in the hospital.  I really and truly believe that losing one of the twins as hard as it was, was probably the best thing in the world as I honestly don't think I could have carried both of them to term.  Today as I sit back and think about all of this, I feel so blessed and thankful to say the least.  Not only am I thankful for our little miracle, but I know that we would have never got through any of this without the love and support of our friends and family.  I often wonder why God allowed our IVF to be successful when I have so many friends that didn't have success.  I feel horrible for them, but keep telling myself that God has a plan for them too.  It took us a long time for our chance at parenthood and when I think back about it, I am blown away at everything I have gone through.  Who would have thought I could have done that!  Who would have thought WE could have done that!  We are one couple that have had more highs then lows in our 8 1/2 years of marriage, but I know that we wouldn't be the people that we are now without those trials and tribulations.  Today I am just thankful for everything and everyone.  We are so ready to see our miracle in a few months and hold her.  It will be such an emotional moment as then it will finally hit me that I really was pregnant.  Today as I was sitting on the couch with my family, Gabbie was kicking me so hard that I could actually see my stomach move.  What a beautiful sight and feeling.  Like I said feeling blessed to say the least.  Thank you to each and everyone of you that have supported us on this journey.  Happy Thanksgiving~

This was us about 4 weeks ago.  We love our little miracle and one another!  So blessed!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

24 Weeks and 4D Ultrasound

I can mark a major milestone off of the list.  We are 24 weeks which means Gabbie can survive without me if she did decide to come early.  I still can't believe that we have gotten this far in my pregnancy.  Today things are more than real as she isn't this little alien that is growing in me, but an actual baby.  The ultrasound today was beautiful.  Of course she didn't want to cooperate and every time we would switch from 2D to 4D she would put her hand in front of her face.  We did get a few good pictures that I will post.  Everyone says she has my nose.  My sister in law thinks she looks like Chris in the face, but I don't see it.  I just think she is beautiful already and the first picture really shows it.  :)




Thursday, November 3, 2011

WAY TO MUCH

So I just realized that I am a slacker and haven't posted anything for way to many weeks.  Things are ok, but crazy right now and some unexplained issues.  We will be 24 weeks on Monday and I promise to put a nice update on the baby and pictures next week as I have my 4d ultrasound.  I do have to say I am excited about this, but I have seen other peoples pics and they are kind of creepy.

Right now life just feels like a fog.  I was really starting to feel good finally and even was able to sleep.  Then on top of that I finally felt movement.  :)  It was the greatest feeling in the world and a moment I won't ever forget.  Chris and I had gone to bed on that Sunday night right before I was 22 weeks and we were talking in bed.  As we were talking and laughing I felt this weird pain right below my belly button.  I stopped and immediately was like what is that.  Then it happened again.  I told Chris I think your daughter just kicked me.  He put his hand on my belly and she did it again to the point he even felt it.  We both were in shock and honestly I am not sure who was more in shock.  Of course my waterworks turned on as I was more than happy and in shock.  I called my mom and told her the news.  What an amazing, weird, and creepy feeling all at the same time.  I just laid there that night feeling her move and kick me.  I didn't feel her after that for a few days which really bothered me.  I have found that I only feel her when I am laying down or sititng in a slumped position.  I love feeling her move and kick me.  Things are definitely becoming more real.  I know that it really started to hit me as I actually started my long term lesson plans for a substitute this winter.  So excited! 

I am growing too, but everyone says I am small for where I should be.  Besides that fact I have still yet to gain a lb, but the dr says that is fine as my belly is growing and is measuring ahead of schedule.  I am still carrying Gabbie extremely low.  I know that the doctor has mentioned a few concerns about this and my placenta.  Then on top of this I have been having some weird pain that we can't seem to figure out.  We did decide last week that it might be my bowels and my IBS issues.  She said if that is the case it will be hard later on to tell the difference between that and contractions.  At least I know what they will kind of feel like hearing that.  Then my doctor brought up the glucose test and how with diabetes in my family, I really need to be careful that day so we don't get a false positive.  I go for that test on the 17th.  I am not too excited, but ready to know.

I am having some pain this week and not sure what is going on.  It is actually a bit scary as I even had some minor bleeding.  I constantly have the pain in my hipbones and pelvis, but this pain is like a sharp pain across my abdomen.  It has been brought up that I am feeling contractions, but who knows.  I know at my 20 week ultrasound weeks ago that we could see my body was having contractions, but I just couldn't feel them.  I am just hoping that Miss Gabbie stays put for a lot longer as it isn't time for us to meet her yet.  I am just trying to take things easy and stay off of my feet the best I can which isn't easy being a kindergarten teacher that is for sure.  Any how, we are trying not to think about an early delivery, but it is hard not too.  I can't wait to have Gabbie, but not yet.  I just have to stay calm and relaxed.  Thank God I can feel her move now and have the Doppler to listen to her.  :)

I promise next week another update.  Thanks for the continued love and support.  We need prayers as always to keep little one growing and for her to stay put. 

Monday, October 17, 2011

When Can I Breathe...

Alright all of you that have been in my shoes and gotten pregnant after years of fertility treatment, when do you finally relax and think things are fine with your pregnancy? Today puts us at 21 weeks and for some reason I am more nervous now then I was a few weeks ago. I don't understand why I am becoming more crazy about my pregnancy and little Gabbie. I wonder if it is how my dr makes me so nervous or what? I am so glad she sees me every two weeks as I need all of the peace of mind I can get. I am sure it doesn't help that I am not feeling movement either. I know the chance of miscarriage is very rare right now but still nervous as I want this so bad. Any how just needed to vent... Thanks for always listening and putting this nervous nelly at ease.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

We Are Having A.............

Tuesday was the big day for the 20 week ultrasound and to find out what we are having.  I think we are still in shock that is for sure.  It was definitely icing on the cake on top of a few days of feeling crummy.  On Monday I couldn't even sit up I was having so much pain.  It didn't feel like the round ligament pain, but something different.  Any how, we did figure out why I have so much pain and it is because I am carrying this baby so low.  I had two techs that were in there with us double checking everything, do you see why they make me so nervous?  One of the big things mentioned had to do with my placenta being anterior instead of interior. (I think that is the right word)  My understanding is that I won't feel movement for a long time.  The baby was punching me and kicking me the whole time, but I have yet to feel a thing.  Other things were said, but I can't think.  I was relieved to prove the dr wrong that my cervix was closed.  YEAH!  When it came to figuring out the sex, it took a bit, but we are having a GIRL!  I can't believe it!  There are no girls in Chris's family so this is just huge!  I am so excited to shop that is for sure.

After we finally got done we went to my parents and we told them and about 5 other people.  We then made little mini vanilla cupcakes that we filled the middle with pink icing and frosted them with white cream cheese icing.  So when people bit into them they found out what we were having.   We made 100 of these.  I sent a bunch to my old school or family of teachers that I miss, a bunch for my new colleagues, and for my kindergarteners.  I don't know who was more excited.  The idea was a huge hit even though I made a lot of people angry with not sharing my news immediately.  I wanted to be able to do something fun with my pregnancy as everyone knew we had done IVF and that we were prego early on.  Here are a few pictures of our little miracle.  We love her!  Her name is going to be Gabbie.


Sunday, October 9, 2011

20 Weeks! WE ARE 1/2 WAY!

I can't believe that tomorrow I am 20 weeks along in my pregnancy.  We are 1/2 way done to becoming parents.  I can't tell you the joy that this brings to me.  Everyone says that I am glowing, but I don't see it.  I just keep trucking along cautious with each day.  Tuesday is the big day for the big 20 week scan and we get to find out what we are having.  I am so excited!  We are actually going to really be able to plan ahead for our little family.  I think I will have a permanent smile on my face these next few days.  Do I feel like this real yet, NOPE!  :)

20 Week Update
Baby is the size of: a cantaloupe!  WOW!  I don't feel large enough to be having a cantaloupe inside me.

Symptoms: Acne is a bit better for the time being.  :)  My boobs feel like they are growing again.  Lots of pain and soreness on my right pelvic region.  Still not sleeping, but other than that I am doing good.

Weight gain: None...I still keep dropping weight.  The doctor doesn't seem concerned though as I am growing so she said all is good.

Maternity clothes: Bought a few more shirts last weekend.  Winter is coming is all I have to say!

Sleep: This week I had one night where I slept about 11 hours and it was great.  Since then just a couple of hours asleep a night.  I do better if I just fall asleep at an angle on the sofa.

Movement: Not sure.  :)  I think yesterday I really started feeling movement, but I don't know.  I know when I went to the doctor two weeks ago she told me that it would be a while before I really felt real movement as I am carrying the baby so low.  She said where the baby is and the placenta, it would take a lot to really feel a punch or kick.  However, during that ultrasound, you could see the baby really moving and when you listen with the doppler you hear the baby kicking and moving.  What a huge sense of relief!

Cravings: I guess you could say Subway is my craving.  I hate sandwiches, but every time I have a sub sandwich I am happy.  Who knows?  I am also still eating grapes like crazy.  :)

Strangest moment: Watching baby stuff slowly coming in our house.  My parents got us a Britax stroller and carseat for Christmas and of course Chris had to put it together and get it out.  He was so cute pushing that little stroller around the house.  The dogs just keep looking in that room wondering what it going on.  Once we know the sex, the real shopping will start. 

Gender: 2 more days and we will know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am making special cupcakes to reveal the sex to my coworkers in my old school and new school.  I know that my old school friends will be excited for sure!  There will be pink or a blue filling in them when they bite into it.  :)

What I look forward to: Finding out the sex of course and feeling the baby kick!

Milestones: 1/2 way through my pregnancy!  I feel like I am dreaming, but it is the best dream in the world!
 
I think today I might get out the baby book and start writing and scrapbooking.  So excited!  If any of you know how to print off your blog to make into a book please let me know.  :)  This has been an experience that I want to share with my child some day.  This baby is so loved!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Sneak Peak and 19 Weeks

Is reality setting in with me yet, NOPE!  You would think that I would be realizing that I am going to be a mom in just about another 20 weeks, but NOPE!  We have even been shopping and big items are being purchased, but NOPE still not real.  My doctor joked with me on Thursday that it will take me holding our angel in our arms to realize that I was pregnant.

On Thursday I went for my every 2 week appointment.  Chris couldn't go this time as he was in the middle of his inventory and that is his superbowl of his work year.  So, my mom went with me instead as I have been on edge about a few things.  I am so glad that she went with me.  Immediately when she walked in and started asking questions, I just broke down.  I told her about all of the pain I am having on my right pelvic bone and she said that could be ligaments stretching or core ligament pain.  That made me feel better, but when I told her I am not sure if I am feeling movement and that makes me nervous.  She knows what a roller coaster ride this has been through the years and she could see that this was affecting me in more ways than one including not sleeping and nightmares.  I told her that I can listen to the heartbeat and it is reassuring, but not sure if I am feeling movement and not having an ultrasound since I was 12 weeks makes me wonder.  I told her that I know I have my internal and external ultrasound on the 11th and 20 weeks, but it is too far away.  She told me that since I was the last appointment for the day she wanted to end her day on a good note and we would do an ultrasound for fun.  :)  Can you say excited!  I looked at my mom and she was grinning from ear to ear too. 

We went down for the ultrasound and it took a bit for it to kick in.  I thought this would be a perfect time to find out a bit more information.  She told me that she does have concerns with me as my uterus is huge from IVF and putting me ahead of schedule, the other baby's sac is still there and growing, that I am carrying the baby so low, and a few other things.  I knew she was worried, but hearing it kind of made me feel better.  I know most people just got every 4 weeks at this point in their pregnancy and I feel blessed she sees me every 2 weeks to monitor me closely. 

When we started the ultrasound, you could immediately see my lovebugs profile and the he/she didn't fit on the screen any more.  The baby was looking at us and it was just amazing.  I couldn't believe that I could see the spine, body features, and the little heart.  Then the baby arched his/her back and yawned.  It was beautiful.  I just watched with tears welling up in my eyes that this amazing human being is literally growing inside me.  The doctor than pointed out why I am not feeling true movement yet.  Where I am carrying the baby and where my placenta is, there is a huge gap.  She said that the baby would have to kick or punch way high up for me to feel movement.  She said I will feel it, but it will be a while.  What a huge sigh of relief I had then.  Just laying there and watching my little one move was incredible.  Then my mom asked the big question that I knew she would ask and said, can you find out the sex?  I am just laying there half wanting to know, but knowing my hubby will be mad that he isn't there.  I was a little relieved when the baby didn't want to move, but all of a sudden he/she moved a bit and we saw something for just a second.  I think I know what we are having, but not positive.  I must be pretty confident as I bought some baby clothes this weekend.  I am still waiting to really have a long time for an ultrasound before saying anything, but believe me I want to scream the news at the top of my lungs!  Here is a picture of our lovebug during the ultrasound.


The picture didn't copy well, but you can see the head, the long swan neck like mine, and the upper body region.  I just love looking at this picture.  It is now midnight which makes me officially 19 weeks.  1 more week and we are half way through this pregnancy and one day away from the in depth ultrasound.  One excited Lil Momma.  Thanks for all of the continued prayers and support!  We appreciate them!